05.16.12
Away Team,
Counting down the days even if I don’t really know exactly
when you’re leaving (and officially be called the Away Team). It just sucks
that you have to leave at a time when there’s so much to talk about our common
interests (or at least a few of the long list that we share) and when we still
haven’t figured out how to go about with the rest of our days. Come to think of
it, there are always a lot of things to talk about between us. J
Anything, everything and nothing at all. We both have so many plans for our
future, together and apart, and it seems like 9 years isn’t enough to really
talk about it or even plan it all out.
I just talked to you on the phone yesterday about
realizations I’ve had about the fandom we’ve been sharing for the past 8 years
and I know I’m being overly emotional about it but I guess it had to do with
the fact that you’re also leaving and I just want to cling to you through it so
we can share so much more in the coming days. But I know it would also be
selfish of me not to let you go on (and it’s not as if I have a say in it. :p).
Oz would be a great opportunity for you, academically and just with your life
in general. It’s a chance to start a clean slate, something I’d (we’ve) been yearning
for a long time. Something that we’ve talked about, in bits and pieces, in
numerous ninja conversations we’ve had over the past few years. We both crave
to be in a place where no one knows about our history and to be able to be
given the chance to do things over, live the life we want for ourselves without
pre-conceived judgments from the people around us. And I’m glad you have that
opportunity. I want you to grow; something that I don’t think you can fully do
here. And so, with a heavy heart (sobs), I watch (and listen) as you fit the
life you’ve lived here for the past 20 odd years in 2 large suitcases and fly
3615 miles away from home(me).
I remember when you first told me of your plans to move,
(you called me at work, in case you don’t remember) and I’m pretty sure we were both choking up
by the end of the conversation. It was just an idea floating around then. But
nevertheless, the idea of being in two different continents is heartbreaking.
For the few more days, we were down until we felt that it was ok to breathe
easy again because it looks like it was not happening anymore. But alas, the
day came and everything seemed final. Your acceptance to QUT(did I get the uni
right? FML. I fail!), IETLS exam results, getting your suitcases and visa. Yes,
this is really happening. It is both a welcome change and a scary but exciting experience,
for sure. And I guess there’s another good thing that this event brought about,
*cough3615milescough*.
This is a long-winding goodbye but it all boils down to this:
I will terribly miss you. I will
miss the hugs, the 5-hour long conversations about everything; our coffee talks
and philosophical discussions about the fandom; the jokes you and I can only
understand. And although I know we won’t let things change between us, honestly,
a part of me is still scared that the distance can some be detrimental to us.
And I guess I am thankful that we have this. This little part of the interwebs
where we can pretend we’re still right next to each other (I’m sorry but my
playlist is killing me. Halfway through the letter it played Nell’s Slip Away
followed by Bolero which is playing in my ear now. /sobs) or just an hour bus
ride away instead of being continents and timezones apart. I’m pretty sure I’ll
end up crying when the time comes (hopefully a weekend) and we need to see you
off at the airport. I’m sorry that we can’t spend as much time together as we
can while you’re still here. Work is in the way! LOL. There’s still so much to talk about before
you leave but I guess we’ll just work it our here, right? That’s the master
plan! :D And this isn’t even goodbye yet coz you’re still here and just a
tweet, a text, or a bus ride away. And if all else fails, just remember: OK, WE
CAN! :D
Love,
Home Team
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