OK, WE CAN!

Away Team,

I don't really know why I suddenly had the urge to write and write and write since July rolled in. I've updated my blog for two straight days (after leaving it to rot for almost a year) and now this. And I don't even know how often you still check this and I don't want to nag you. But that's a good thing, right? The writing, I mean. Sadly, still no fics though.

I'm being a sentimental fool yet again and I've just read all 12 posts in here. I guess I just want an outlet? :p I'm at a point in my life (again? Or maybe this is constant? I don't know.) wherein I'm not sure where I'm going next. It's like I'm stuck and I don't think I have options available to steer me to where I need to go. It's not a dead-end either. I'm just in the same place and not moving forward, sideways, whatever. Truth be told, I am tempted to try my luck there (ssshhh, this is top secret stuff). Not for anything else but just to save up so I can travel all over the world. Kuya said I'd thrive there if that's my goal and that it'll be easy. Saving part yes, not the work that comes with it but that's normal. Don't expect any coherence in this post, I'm just word-vomiting as I go.

I'm not sure I'm enjoying my job as much as I did before. All I want to do is go home on-the-dot or just daydream about the weekend. I feel like I'm too afraid to take risks. I think that as we take on more responsibilities, we tend to stick to our comfort zones and that's what cripples me. I easily left my job before and wasn't that worried that I'll be a bum for God-knows-how-many months and I survived! But now, the thought of leaving this hive floods me with questions; what about the house? how are you paying for the bills? how will you help your parents? what the fuck are you gonna do? how you can be a productive member of society?. I hate it! But at the same time, I know sticking to this is the responsible ADULT thing to do. Not the going away to someplace else, gypsy-like, and just see where the wind takes you. But I want that. Maybe it's still the kid in me. Or the escapist in me.

Currently, I feel like I'm just floating through the days. I've not sat down and really thought about my next move yet. Maybe I'm being evasive about it. Or I'm just thinking too much. But I know I owe it to myself to figure this out SOON.

Let's go to happy things!

I think I already did that one crazy thing a person is allowed to in her lifetime. Or maybe not. I don't know. Yeah, maybe not so crazy because crazy = leaving this all behind right? Or is it? hahahaha! I'm not making sense.

Ok, I said happy things! Happy birthday? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :D I'm glad I was part of the midnight surprise. It's still feels like I'm with you guys. :) Also, Bakajin's birthday is today! Except I don't buy cakes for him anymore. Hhhmmm, I can't think of new happy things except for the constant ones in my life right now. My happiness is sort of just half-filled these days. Generally happy but not out-of-this-world happy. pffft, I sound like a party-pooper.

Ooooohhhhhh, got my grad school documents after 17 months of letting it rot at our Registrar's. Then went to Binondo last Tuesday for lunch and fruits shopping and then tea time at UPD. I LOVE days like those. Just chill and spontaneous and fun.

Shit, I can't think of other happy updates. i suck! OTL.

Anyway, got anything to share? :D



Told you this is incoherence at its finest,

Home Team~<3